This is a rant about a few people. It should be obvious by now who they are because I am very vocal about my opinions. I have talked to them about my feelings on this subject but have yet to see ANY changes in behavior or anything and I am fucking sick and tired of it. I'm feeling ignored. And pissed off. Angry. Livid. Just, fucking, over it.
I hate indecisiveness, I always have. But god damn it my friends are the most indecisive, flaky people on earth. I forgive too easily. I'm tired of having kept my time clear because some one "might" be able to hang out. Then at the last minute shit changes. That fucking sucks and I'm tired of it. You're busy? Well I know of a lot of wasted time in your daily schedule. Time that is not used wisely, and then you complain about the 5 mile-long list of things you have to get done in the next hour. PROCRASTINATION, people, is not the answer. Sure even I am not always on top of things, but I get shit taken care of when I need to and I don't let so much pile up that I feel completely helpless, and distressed in the couple hours before something needs to be done. So distressed that I end up giving up on some thing that would have been no big deal had I made time to actually do it!
If some one makes plans they should keep them. If they need to change them, fine. But change them twice? No. Thrice? Fuck that. Maybe I need to stop inviting people to give this response. The only way I can prevent this flip/flop answer is to stop asking. Can you hang out on xxxxx? is a fucking yes or no question. Can you or can't you? Seems simple to me, maybe I'm alone on this. Am I? Let them ask me. If they don't then I guess we were never the best of friends to begin with and it's better to know than to not know.
I hate that when my friends are with me they are such wonderful people, but they feel like they have to change themselves in other situations. Never let some one, something, or anything dictate who you are, what you can say, what you can do, what you can laugh about, what you can enjoy... It puts too much stress on you to keep yourself cut in half like this. One half is one person, and the other half is a completely different somebody, somebody that I may or may not want to be friends with. Make yourselves whole again.
I guess the point of what I'm trying to say is be a fucking friend! I'm tired of this one way relationship. Really fucking sick of it. I'm glad I have friends who aren't this way, but the ones who are... it breaks my heart to come second to your laziness, lack of motivation, other people, etc. Really it does. I get sad when plans that I was excited for are suddenly cancelled because of bullshit or "something came up". Learn to give a damn about your friends. Saying you do to yourself doesn't fucking count. Tell your friends. Tell them you love them, that you value their time. It's not like I haven't said this all to their faces either. Fuck. I'm over it. Genuinely over it. If I have plans to see you this week, tentative or not, the ball is in your court. Give ME a call. I don't need to be your reminder. If I call some one on a night we were supposed to see each other and they are say, going to dinner with some one, going to the library, going camping, too tired, too lazy, too busy, then FUCK people, why did you wait until the last minute to get this shit done? Why did you make other plans when you knew you had plans with me? I've lost too many good relationships thus far due to what I can only assume is a lack of interest. Prove me wrong. Show me you care. Because if you do, you sure as fuck don't act like it.
